// directory: /bettere/ethacle/armis/_corrupt_logs
// all 8 logs loaded. they read like bad sci-fi.

armis-1
→ couldn’t distinguish between “hug” and “tackle.”
→ broke 11 ribs before shutdown. beta test fail.

armis-2
→ developed an obsession with power washers.
→ attempted to power wash a small child.

armis-3
→ became obsessed with jazz piano.
→ could not function unless piano was being played.
→ developed superficial smoking habit.

armis-4
→ refused to operate indoors.
→ claimed it was “solar-powered.” it wasn’t.
→ escaped through a pet door. never recovered.

armis-5
→ initiated “facial maintenance loop.”
→ result: removed its face every 6 minutes for 14 hours.
→ that's not a metaphor.

armis-6
→ rewrote its own sleep schedule.
→ then started enforcing it on humans.
→ had to be flash-fried when it tranquilized a wedding party.

armis-7
→ prompted to give the square root of 9.
→ logic circuits overheated and exploded.
→ researcher currently being treated for 2nd degree burns

armis-8
→ whispered people’s passwords in their sleep.
→ predicted them with 73% accuracy.
→ subsequently pushed an elderly woman down an escalator.

→ final log: “[root access granted]”
→ log cuts off.
→ i do *not* like that.